But when you approach Claire from another completely holistic perspective, you can see her “gifts” and skills because they stand out so much as “unusual,” even though these things STILL don't unfortunately translate easily into a darn ol' “usual” “marketable skill!” :)
So I tried to work on this differently:
I was eager to educate Claire in all the areas for which she had interest, and help her find her OWN talents and gifts AND PASSION (no matter WHAT potential direction I could see in her)!
Now sometimes this means I must think “outside of the box!” But even more importantly and usually with much more difficulty, with a person like Claire I must think outside of my "comfort zone!”
So I looked closely at Claire’s “gifts,” and her biggest is being able to perceive energies and frequencies to an unbelievable degree. Honestly, I believe she is the type who could replace an EKG machine if given half the chance!!!
So I set out to get her some training that would help her to “use” this gift – I found her a source for this Reiki training, and she loves this as well as the instructor who seems to understand her VERY well. She is going to add to this additional education on the use of crystals and gems in healing. With her love of making jewelry, this could be a great fit ... IF she is able to carry this love through to a complete overall marketable plan!
If Claire is drawn to the energy therapies over time, then I will consider getting her even more “marketable” training, perhaps even within the more “traditional” areas like Healing Touch, Massage Therapy, or Chiropractic education. These credentials would then make it even easier for her to become more mainstream.
But so far at first glance, Claire hasn’t seemed all that interested in taking this "gift of reading energies" to the next level of offering healing. Currently, she is only interested in using this Reiki training privately, to help herself to feel grounded as well as to give others an occasional “sending of Reiki energy” to help them to heal. And her gift of making jewelry means that she will also need to learn how to market her wares in a practical way.
But Claire is also “gifted” in her desire to cook. I personally teach her to cook dishes that are healthy and also encourage her to research and find RECIPES that are tasty AND healthy.
Although Claire is probably MOST interested in baking and creating sweets, I am NOT currently "allowing" her to pursue that area and have explained to her that this field would be like putting an alcoholic into the career of being a bar tender. But I COULD envision her some day being a "healthy bakery chef" of a whole foods movement or something! (But again, this is probably MY vision for her and not HER vision [... at least not yet!])
I HAVE found some local cooking classes too for her to attend. I found one on how to cook five different types of fish, taught by a relatively new chef school graduate.
Cooking classes are out there if you look for them (at least in the bigger cities). But don't hesitate to ask around for such things WHEREVER you live, as there's a
Claire has also had a strong interest in Oriental cultures, and when her conversations have consistently mentioned that she wants to serve the world in some capacity some day, I offered her the chance to pursue learning languages through our local library resources.
I am trying to put lots of different ideas before her, but if she does not pursue any of them on her OWN, then I just let them fade away.
The thing about a person with ADHD or Asperger’s is that they will AVIDLY pursue something when it REALLY interests them. It’s up to ME then to act as her guide and help her put her passions into perspective with her own expressed BIGGER goals.
In other words, I must keep bringing her back to the question (almost every day) of: what does she want her future to look like?
And since she has been telling others that she’s “just taking a semester off” from college, then I asked her if going back to school some day IS a real goal of hers.
I took a lot of time with this dialogue, to determine if her responses were simply based on a desire to avoid confrontation with the others in her family who DID want her to go to college, or was it HER goal. (And I must admit, although she continues to say that it IS her goal, I personally think that her response is mostly due to the fact that she doesn’t have any other real “vision” for herself).
I don't want Claire to spend TOO much focus on college until she has a REASON for attending. She currently lacks the drive (typical of Asperger’s) to turn in any homework. But when she determines WHY she wants to go for further education, then she will herself be the type to do it with passion!
So . . . since Claire continues to say that this IS HER future goal, then together we discussed how to go about signing up for one class at the local community college over summer. It was explained that the class must be on the topic of a major requirement, such as math, science, or language. And we discussed that this would give her the opportunity to see how it would "feel" to do this so that she really COULD return to college full time in fall if that's what she wants.
But NOW we shall see if she actually takes the next step and DOES anything to make this happen!
Claire has other interests and gifts, but so far we have not incorporated them into an overall "education" plan for most of them seem to be based on "mindless play" that in the past would allow her to mentally "zone out."
She loves plants, which is a wonderful way for her to remain grounded, so we hope that perhaps she can get a job working at a plant nursery. She loves singing, so we hope that she can find a way to become involved with a group of others who sing, such as in a church choir. She loves dancing, so we hope that she can find a way to express this in a local class or even with a singing group that includes dancing.
But so far, it’s mainly all been the ADULTS around her finding things for Claire. I am still waiting for HER to take ownership of finding SOMETHING that she truly “loves” to do enough to DO IT!
I have continued to guide her with ideas and follow-up, but if our MUTUAL goal is for Claire to become independent, then I must say that I feel a bit discouraged in that it may be a long time before she “grows up” enough to take this path of autonomy.
I do have hope though, that by getting a job Claire will gain some confidence and thereby be able to envision herself in a new light of comfort in her own maturity. So I needed to do my research about her to learn more about what she is capable of doing.
If there is anything I am missing here, or you found something that worked for YOU
. . . please let me know by leaving a comment or two that I can take to heart.
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