Holistic Therapy #8: LIFE SKILLS – Driving

At age 18 and about to turn 19, Claire had never so much as gotten her driver’s permit. Oh, she had tried and failed to pass the written test, but each time she took the computerized version at the test center, this only served to heighten her anxiety with every wrong answer she managed to type in. (The computerized test is set up to give you immediate feedback, which only frightens her more).

So I started with her INability to study for the written exam.

Now Claire is a VERY bright girl, yet she couldn’t seem to remember the facts from the driver’s manual because they had no “story” behind them! They were just a bunch of random facts!!!!

So I leaned on her other strengths of mind by showing her how to take this information and make it visual.

I showed her how to fold a piece of paper in half, write a ‘question’ on the left side, and on the right side (under the fold), she wrote the correct ‘answer” to that question.

This alone turned all that “random data” into a visual format that allowed her to make it a visual pattern that could “stick” in her mind.(She still studied for hours and hours on this, but I think it was mainly a lack of focus, as she had only just moved in with us at the time).

Happily, this “technique” worked VERY well for her. She went to take the test the next day when it would be SLOW at the driving test center. But before she entered, I told her to breathe deeply and relax in order to suppress her anxiety. And I also told her that we’d just simply come back every day if need be, until she was able to pass the exam.

She passed it with flying colors!!! She was so proud! She told everyone she could think of, and she couldn’t wait to get started to drive.

I tried being her trainer behind the wheel but couldn’t take it. (No, don't ask). So I hired a safety driving instructor who could teach her all the defensive driving tips AND the components that would comprise the actual driving test she would have to take.

After hours of instruction, Claire’s driving has improved to the point where I can now “stand” to be an instructive passenger with her. (But I fear that it may be a long time yet before I can say that I am actually COMFORTABLE with her driving!) She is learning though, and every day gives her a bit more experience.

I have noted that she really needs to watch her blood sugar. When she has not eaten recently, she is especially ‘dangerous’ with her driving decisions.

Her high anxiety response has her reacting to things with “a panic attack” that makes it very scary for her AND for the passenger.

So we are working on techniques that remind her to ‘get control’ and STAY in control, whenever she is in place behind the wheel. Amazingly, just having a conversation with her about this a few times has SEEMED to cement this in place (but it could also be that she’s simply gotten more confident with her driving skills.)

I have seen some other issues that scare me even MORE about her way of handling things, but I will address this later after I get through all of my Holistic Therapy techniques. For now, just know that we are progressing with our young driver.

And yes … we hope that very SOON she will be officially licensed.